Love and Respect Journey

Monique and I have been applying the principles of Love and Respect, Ephesians 5:33, to our marriage ever since we heard the teaching from Emerson and Sara Eggerich through their ministry titled, Love and Respect. This teaching is available to everyone either through their book or through their video teaching. We have been on a mission to share this life giving message to couples for two years.


The message has several key truths. First, couples clearly understand the differences between female and male, pink and blue. Through funny life stories and examples, couples laugh and see the reality of the God made differences. The seriousness of communication issues are diffused in the light of these differences and tools are taught through the fundamental relational principles found in Ephesians 5:33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:32-33

Followers of Christ have some understanding, intellectually, of the unconditional love of Jesus Christ for all humanity. Husbands are commanded to give this unconditional love apart from their wife's performance. There is another piece to this passage however that sometimes gets missed. Wives are commnanded to unconditionally respect apart from their husbands performance.

Giving unconditional love to a disrespectful wife and giving unconditional respect to an unloving husband, produces power in the marriage relationship by speaking male and female language that melts and stirs hearts. This stirring releases couples from the Crazy Cycle that spins when we don't communicate in each others love language.

Pink and Blue, not wrong just different. Women seeing the world through pink sunglasses and hearing through pink earphones; men seeing the world through blue sunglasses and hearing blue earphones, these are one of the key visuals which help couples see how we are different and the communication challenges we face in marriage.

Monique and i have been able to decode each others language which has reduced misunderstandings and increased intimacy in our relationship. We are no longer battling to change each other in conflicts.

Attend the Love and Respect video conference in Friday Harbor, April 25th and 26th and receive a renewed energy and passion for loving and respecting your spouse.

For more information call, Vic and Monique Woodward - (360) 378-8435

Valentine Memory

Valentines Day has come and gone, but my memories took me to last month and my nephew Eric's wedding. It appears from the picture on the left that Eric was contemplating his decision to marry Stephanie with his Dad, my brother Tom, all the way up until the last minute. This however was not the case. Eric's love for Stephanie and his choice to marry her had long since been decided and affirmed in his mind by God.

We trust God for this union of man and woman. The wedding was a joyous celebration of love. On the right, Eric's mom reflects the radiance of joy in her beautiful smile. As Eric and Stephanie let go of control, something that happens when husband and wife grow in Christ and in marriage, they will experience a oneness that is life giving to the world around them.


It is a mystery, as the apostle Paul says in Ephesians. I think marriage is also an incredible adventure, filled with thrills and spills, molding and conforming to our original creation, in the image of God. Will you join us in lifting up Eric and Stephanie Woodward and their marriage, to His glory.


As we can testify, He will work all things out for the good for those who trust in Him.

Happy Valentines Day!

Love,

Vic, Monique, Ellie and Carly

Family Thanksgiving

Family and Thanksgiving seem like words that fit together and yet in the world we live in this is not always true. It has been true for the Woodward family and for this I'm eternally grateful, and we owe this to Mom and Dad and our grandparents.

For the third year in a row we all gathered in Whittier, Calif. at my brother Tom's house. The reunion was rich with family fun; golf, Christmas cookie baking, Wii games in the living room, the traditional Vince's spaghetti dinner, backyard basketball, outdoor Thanksgiving dinner (a treat for us northwesterners) and relationship building for all.

The picture with Grandma Carrie and all the grandkids is priceless. We miss Grandpa Lee and it seems hard to believe it has been almost a year since his passing. Mom hardly remembers the incredible Thanksgiving spreads she used to serve for our family but we will never forget. My sister-in-law Marti has carried on the wonderful Thanksgiving traditions for her family and ours in a mighy way. We are so thankful for her.

A Christmas cookie baking day for the ladies has been a tradition that Marti has instituted for the family. While us guys are out hacking up one of the local golf courses, the ladies are creating wonderful cookies in the kitchen.


Here are Stephanie and Marcy at work in the kitchen. No snacking, yeah right.




Cookies on the BBQ?
What's up Erin?

Brothers Jim, Tom and I with sons Damon and Grant.

Woodward ladies, Jamie, Samantha, Amy, Ellie and Carly

Grazing in Grace

It is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not of yourselves; it is a gift of God, so that no man can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

Monique and I have been grazing in the truth of God's grace for about a year now. God has been revealing His grace to us, helping us to embrace grace in our hearts and souls. He want you to experience His grace, not just for salvation (see above verse) but for living the life of a follower of Jesus. It all begins with grace, but thanks be to God that the living is found in freedom which comes from grace.

Tim Kimmel, in his book, Grace Based Parenting shares, "Grace certainly has its share of enemies. There are those enemies who want to camp on the truth of the Bible and say life is black and white with little nuance." I'm sad to say that I have found this to be all too true.

In Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott beautifully describes grace towards us. "It is unearned love--the love that goes before, that greets us on the way. Its the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desparate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you. Grace is the light or electricity or juice or breeze that takes you from that isolated place and puts you with others who are as startled and embarrassed and eventually grateful as you are to be there."

In our experience, it is this kind of grace/love that reshapes us, transforms us, provides us with the environment for spiritual growth and maturity. An essential piece of experiencing this grace is in the knowing that our God is crazy about you!

What are your thoughts?

What is it about camping?

Camping has always been one of our family favorite things to do in the spring and summer months. This year has been no exception. We've had weekend opportunities to go camping here in the islands and also journey to June Lake, CA where we met the Tom and Phil Woodward families, along with some new friends, the Bolter family.

In reflecting on these times, there are a few things that stand out for me. There is a cooperation amongst campers that makes me smile. Folks join together to meet needs in a beautiful way. It is really an example of how the body of Christ is supposed to work together, in harmony. Because of the close quarters, conflicts amongst family members get worked out rather quickly, no grudges held on to at the campsite. Hmmm? This is another Biblical teaching, isn't it.

There are always challenges and sacrifices on a camp trip, hmmm, opportunities for growth? When we are out camping, it seems that we are often in awe of God's creation, which leads us in true worship of our Creator. I'm thankful our family embraces camping the old fashioned way, tenting to be specific. Okay, we do pump up our air mattresses, and use a propane stove, but that is about it. Today's camping world features the comforts of home for most folks.

It is fun to meet new friends, a real treat that comes from camping. There is hardly a trip we've taken where we don't meet some really special people along the way. Somehow I think God is pleased when he sees us pack up the van and head out on another camping trip.

Dad and Daughter Weekend

Last weekend Ellie, Carly and I spent together at Warm Beach Camp near Stanwood, WA. We attended Dad's and Daugther's weekend, along with about 30 or 40 others. We had such a blast! This was the second year in a row for us at camp. This year we built and launched our first rocket, beautifully decorated and painted by the girls. The pink nose cone could not be missed at launch time. One of our highlights was our rainy horseback ride through the woods around camp. We were pretty wet by the end of the ride.

Face painting was fun too. I looked pretty scary after the girls painted my face. All in all we learned more about each other and our amazing God. What a blessing to spend this time together.

Unconditional Love and Respect

This past weekend, Feb. 9th and 10th, we hosted our second Love and Respect Marriage Conference in Friday Harbor. Eighteen couples attended and the message of Ephesians 5:33 was presented in a powerful way.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Most people understand unconditional love and would admit that they seek to embody it in their lives, but what about unconditional respect? As Christ followers we know that God's love for us (completely unconditional) is demonstrated on the cross at Calvary, through the perfect atonement and sacrifice for our sins. Belief in a life giving message of hope, forgiveness, peace, grace, mercy and love is something that the human soul yearns for here on earth. The message is found the person of Jesus.

But what about respect? Can wives have unconditional respect for their husband in spite of his performance? This again is a message found in Jesus and the power to carry out this command comes from Him. It is a life giving command to marriage partners. How could we have missed it all these years? Go to www.loveandrespect.com to find out more, or better yet, attend our next Love and Respect video conference in Concrete, WA on April 27th and 28th, 2007.

Dad, Grandpa Woodward's homegoing

My Dad, Leland Seale Woodward, went home to be with his heavenly Father on Dec. 31st, 2006. We were blessed to fly down to So. Calif. and celebrate his life. For me, our family time was rich, filled with stories from friends and loved ones who were touched by a life well lived.

I love what D.L. Moody said as he was dying. Realizing that he would soon be gone from this world one day, Moody said to a friend, "Someday you will read in the papers that D.L. Moody of Northfield is dead. Don't you believe a word of it. At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now. I shall have gone higher, that is all -- out of this old clay tenement into a house that is immortal, a body that sin cannot touch, that sin cannot taint, a body fashioned into His glorious body. I was born in the flesh in 1837; I was born of the Spirit in 1856. That which is born of the flesh may die; that which is born of the Spirit will live forever."

Dad came to a saving faith in Jesus Christ in the final days of his life. The peace that washed over our family knowing we will be seeing Dad in heaven, is truly a peace that surpasses all understanding.

San Juan Winds

Right now the wind is intense here in the San Juans, our first blast of the year. Fortunately it is blowing in from the south, not as cold as a northeaster. Still, wind is an interesting work of God.

As I took the dog out for a potty stop this morning, she needed to go desperately, the wind distracted her from emptying her bladder, even though it was at maximum capacity. Wow! It took her a few minutes to realize she really had to go.

So...I got thinking about wind its effect on Stitch our dog, and on us humans.

The wind today represented life distractions that come our way regularly. The winds of life throw me a barrage of curve balls everyday which distract me from focusing on the love of my Savior Jesus, and the things He has for me to do or be in the day. Sometimes those distractions are orchestrated by Satan, sometimes they are just my stuff. Are you tracking me? Do you ever feel that way?

The "tyranny of the urgent" blows fiercely over my mind distracting me from priorities; loving God, investing myself in others, giving of my time and talents, serving sacrificially and quieting my heart to hear God speak to me.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

The refuge our dog Stitch found from the wind was the shelter of our home. As soon as we stepped inside, she began to calm down. She was able to focus to my commands, to listen. I think God wants to be my refuge from the winds of life. He wants me to lie down in the green pastures He provides for me, to seek the shelter He provides in solitude.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Guaranteed, there will be more winds coming here in the San Juans and in our lives. Where will you find shelter and refuge?

Testimonies from Love and Respect

The Love and Respect Conference held on Oct. 13th and 14th was an encouragement to all who attended. Here are some stories from the conference:

Dear Vic,

This was an excellent conference. We came away energized and happy, not depressed by how much work we had to do on our marriage or how inadequate we were. My husband said it was the first time at such a conference that he did not come away feeling overwhelmed and a failure.

Emerson Eggerich is such an brilliant speaker; expressive, true, and down to earth. I don't see how his message would not benefit basically anyone in understanding the dynamics of men and women. His humor was heart warming and his life experiences and stories made it real and believable. We both thought we need that kind of person to be an ambassador in the White House!

Thanks Vic and Mo for bringing "Love and Respect" to Friday Harbor.

The Love and Respect Marriage conference really helped us to see how easy it is for each of us to misread our spouse's intentions, which caused irritation, and then less love and respect for one another.

We are now better able to recognize the trap we so easily fall into, and get ourselves out of the crazy cycle before it gets too crazy. Knowing and then recognizing that my spouse's words or actions have a completely different meaning or intent than I put on them makes it easier to forgive and leads to more understanding in our relationship.

We "stepped on each other's hoses" this morning, but were quickly able to recognize what was happening, step off, and enjoy our day together. The weekend was full of laughs and learning! We bought the DVD's so we could share them with family and friends.The Love and Respect Marriage conference really helped us to see how easy it is for each of us to misread our spouse's intentions, which caused irritation, and then less love and respect for one another.

We are now better able to recognize the trap we so easily fall into, and get ourselves out of the crazy cycle before it gets too crazy. Knowing and then recognizing that my spouse's words or actions have a completely different meaning or intent than I put on them makes it easier to forgive and leads to more understanding in our relationship.

We "stepped on each other's hoses" this morning, but were quickly able to recognize what was happening, step off, and enjoy our day together. The weekend was full of laughs and learning! We bought the DVD's so we could share them with family and friends.

Not Too Late

It is not too late to sign up for the Love and Respect Marriage Conference on Oct. 13 and 14 at the Friday Harbor Inn. Here is what one wife is saying:

"My husband has always been a very quiet man - not one for displays of emotion. We are as different as any two people could be in that area. But, I see something so different in him as a result of this conference. He is as enthusiastic and excited as I have ever seen him."

Come join us and find out what your spouse will be saying after the conference. Call (360) 378-8435 to register today!

Childcare for Love and Respect Conference

A QUICK UPDATE - We are pleased to announce that childcare will be provided for the Saturday conference sessions. This service will be provided for children ages 2 and up.

Please register your child by calling (360) 378-8435. Children can be dropped off at Friday Harbor Presbyterian Church at 8:45 a.m. on Saturday. Registration forms will also be available at the church in the morning.

Please provide and snack and sack lunch for your child.

Love and Respect Story

“I am sad that I have been married twenty-two years and just now understand the Respect message. I wrote my husband two letters about why I respected him. I am amazed at how it has softened him in his response to me. I have prayed for years that my husband would love me and speak my love language. But when I began to speak his language, he responded with what I wanted.”

Love and Respect Marriage Conference

Monique and I are very excited about the upcoming Love and Respect marriage conference coming to the islands this fall.

We (InFocus Family Ministries- The Woodwards) are hosting a Love and Respect marriage conference here on San Juan Island. The dates are Fri. Oct. 13th - 6-9 p.m. and Sat. Oct. 14th - 9 a.m - 4 p.m. @ Friday Harbor Inn.

The rooms at the FH Inn are discounted for conference attendees - $76 per night. Call - (360) 378-4000 for room reservations. We will also try to come up with some homes for folks to stay in if possible.

The cost of the conference, which includes workbook, continental breakfast and lunch is $70 per couple.

This will be a DVD driven conference. I have the DVD's for the conference style presentation.
I'm praying that we will have the room packed with couples from all the islands and your community. This material/teaching is powerful. Focus on the Family is sponsoring these conferences all across the U.S.A.

Register Today! - call (360) 378-8435

Trust and the County Fair

Last week marked the 100th annual San Juan County Fair. I think for many people in Friday Harbor it is one of the highlights of the summer. I always enjoy meeting people at the fair, reconnecting and sharing in the joy of being there amongst all the excitement.

I really think you can taste the flavor of any region of the country by going to a County Fair. The flavor I tasted here is one of community, creativity, stewardship, and fun! At the 4H exhibits of animals and projects, I got the sense of responsibility being nutured in young people by caring adults. Hmmm! So many good flavors to taste this past week; I wish I could include them all.


In watching the carnival rides and the men working to fix them I sensed a need to TRUST. Honestly, some of those rides looked like they could come apart with a few good shakes, spins,
twists and turns. Whoa! Yet, children and parents trusted in the rusty machines, loose bolts and all, to give the thrill ride anticipated and return everyone to a safe stop. Whoa! Now that is TRUST!

How is it that we can TRUST old carnival machines with aging hydrolics and rusty nuts and bolts with our lives, not to mention our childrens lives, and not TRUST God with our lives? This is a mystery to me. Why can't we TRUST the Creator of the universe with our day to day lives? What is it about me, about us? Could it be true that our natural bent is rebellion towards God? The more I see the more I know that this is true. Your thoughts?

Camping in the Creation

In early August the Woodward family found rest, peace and comfort in the Lord's creation and amongst fellowship with our family. We were blessed to be able to retreat, unplug our lives from computers and cell phones. I recommend this for everyone once or twice a year.

Actually, this is recommended by God more often than just once or twice per year. He wants us to do it weekly. Set aside a day, the Sabbath; to rest in Him, honor Him, reflect on His graciousness, give thanks and truly let Him have our burdens. He says this with authority and command in the book of Exodus.

Exodus 20:8-11

"Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days a week are set apart for your daily duties and regular work, but the seventh day is a day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any kind of work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; then he rested on the seventh day. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.

As I look around me I don't see much observance of this commandment, one of the ten commandments by the way. I too get caught up in the wave of busyness that seems to swell over my head at times. We have the created order of life all backwards.

If you notice from the Genesis record of God's creating; he was hard at work for six days and on the sixth day he created man and woman. Right after this work He rested, the seventh day. So... man and woman's first day in existence after being created was a day of rest.

It was from this full day of rest that they moved on to the work God had for them in the garden of Eden. The order then is from REST we WORK. Most of what I see in my life pattern and the pattern of others is WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, and then maybe rest if there is time or if we have justified rest by doing enough work.

This pattern or order was not in God's created plan. Whoa! He created us to WORK from REST. What do you need to do to make life adjustments in your weekly schedule to line up with God's plan for your life?

Faith and Habanero Sauce

Tonight was one of those throw together dinners nights at the Woodward's house. One group of girls were making an old favorite, Kraft's Mac n' Cheese dinner. Monique was mixing one of her quick meal specials; tuna fish, chopped apple, peanut butter and mayo, in a combined concoction. For me, it was pinto bean burritos with a sprinkle of habanero sauce, parmesan cheese, sour cream and salsa.

What a smorgasboard of meal choices devoured by everyone! My choice of the habanero spiced burrito had to be the most moving dinner plan. Right? Speaking of moving, as I was reflecting on how my tastebuds were being affected by the tingling chili, I thought of FAITH. As my mouth was moved to action after receiving the habanero chile in my pallet, yahoo!!, water, water, water, anything please; a link came into my brain to the thought that my FAITH should produce action. The apostle James says;

Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? James 2:14

In this case, my faith (a faith born out of a love for Him, for all that He has given for me) in Jesus Christ should compel me to share His love (serve others). It is in this serving that action is seen, all for the glory of God.

It is simple really and yet so difficult, because my selfish nature is very often in conflict with the Spirit that lives in me by FAITH. Praise Jesus for the conflict and praise Him for habanero sauce which calls my mouth and me to action.

Freedom thoughts

FREEDOM, There is more to it I think.

Freedom from what?

I have been thinking about freedom lately. Maybe I'm being prompted by the fact that the 4th of July has come and gone. The celebration marks our country's independence (freedom) doesn't it?

Are you feeling free right now? Am I feeling free? I'm not talking about freedom in the patriotic/politcal sense. I'm talking about a "life sense". Are you experiencing freedom? Am I? Or do you feel bound by someone or something, a general feeling of heaviness in your heart?

The apostle Paul talks about freedom in Christ in his letter to the followers in Galatia.

Galatians 5:1 Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. The Message

He refers to slavery. Most of us when we think about slavery would agree that all men should be free from that oppression. Do many of us, when we think of the slavery, connect it to the bondage that comes from negative memories of life experiences?

Where can we find freedom from our past? How can we gain understanding, seek forgiveness and release our pain so that it doesn't create bitterness and resentment?

I submit to you that we can only do that with a person who will walk this road with us. Someone who knows us intimately and has gone before us, experiencing all of our pain and hurt for himself. That person is Jesus Christ. He lives in people and can minister His love through people. These people are trusted friends, who are living in His grace and forgiveness.

They are all around you. Seek them out. Risk and be vulnerable. Ask; they will be found. Healing is right around the corner, and with healing comes freedom.